said no more counting victories, we'll be counting loss
by sleepless-royalty
Summary: They counted days, they counted losses, they counted memories - the only consistencies being each other, the dragons, and death. Set during the alternative future with 10,000 dragons. Rated T for my paranoia.
1. Chapter 1

_"They counted days, they counted losses, they counted memories - the only consistencies being each other, the dragons, and death. Set during the alternative future with 10,000 dragons."_

* * *

 **said no more counting victories, we'll be counting loss**

* * *

They never stopped counting the days.

It had been a quiet, unspoken of thing that the four mages had kept up throughout the ranks of their little group, however when that quartet suddenly became a trio, things changed.

The loss of the scarlet-haired requip mage had hit them - and hit them hard. Even worse than when they had watched the Strauss siblings get devoured alive by that awful jade dragon Zirconis, naked and exposed and without any remaining dignity. The light in their crystalline azure eyes had been lost to the sorry state that Fiore - no, the world - was in.

Erza Scarlet had gone a hero, and while the shine of hope never fully left her mocha eyes, it had dimmed to the point where one would take a look at them - and cry. Cry because Titania, Queen of the Fairies, beautiful and strong, had all but given up. Her sanguine locks had covered her lifeless brown eyes, once so vibrant, the same shade as the crimson liquid oozing out of her wounds. She died protecting them, just like when she saved them from the Jupiter Cannon during the war with Phantom Lord, their glory days. Only this time - _she didn't survive._

"Live," were the last words she uttered. "Save the future - our present. For me…for the guild."

Lucy had burst into broken sobs, because she was the only one that could. The salty liquid had fallen onto the ground, glinting in the light of the fire and explosions like fallen stars - that was what they were by then. A troupe of fallen stars just barely getting by, full of hope and at the same time devoid of it. Natsu had allowed her to fall onto him, soaking the tatters of his scarf and just barely grasping onto his arms. Gray had bent down, staring down at the woman he had viewed as a sister and allowed no tears to be shed. They would stay strong for Lucy.

"I will live, Erza," Gray had vowed, the other two silently agreeing. "We will save you."

And so they walked, having no time for a proper burial, only bitter goodbyes and no moments to spare for a proper closure. Lucy sang songs of hope and light and stars and _love_. Gray retold memories of the olden days, seven, fourteen, twenty-one years ago, when they had been young and vibrant and _free_ \- their only worries being the Magic Council and bills and bills and bills. Only now there was no Magic Council to be breathing down their necks for the destruction they had caused, and no bills to be handed out _because destruction was all there was._

The world was in ruins and they could do nothing, thus causing voids in their chests that they could only hope to fill with the determination and light and love and _hope_. The hope that was slowly fading as the days grew longer and the fire burned still. And Natsu? Natsu could only press forward, gritting his teeth and _damning to hell_ his lack of strength against the creatures he had once recalled so fondly.

 _Two thousand five hundred fifty-six, two thousand five hundred fifty-seven, two thousand five hundred fifty-eight…_

They counted the days, they counted the losses.

Each day, each hour, each minute, each second… The pain never went away.

 _Two thousand five hundred fifty-nine…_

Lucy continued to cry and scream and _sing_ her _heart out_. Gray continued to press forward and suppress emotions and _scream_ for all of the pain to _go away_. Natsu continued to smile and help and fight and oh, _God_ , he was _tired_ of everything.

"You don't die for your friends," Natsu repeated as though it were a mantra, a chant to make all the hurt go away. "You live for them."

Lucy sang louder.

The world was a blur of fire and explosions and death, death, _death_ … Never in all his life did Natsu hate his element more than he did then. The scent of blood stained the land, it clogged up his nose, it was almost all he could smell. The scents of decaying corpses wafted through the air, and it took all of his energy not to break down then and there.

They were walking, and counting, because walking, counting and each other seemed to be the only somewhat positive consistency in their lives at the moment. They continued to walk. Where? They weren't too sure. Lucy led them to Crocus and - _oh, Lord_ \- her singing only grew louder and sadder as she set herself free, eyes closed and shining with tears, and if the ice and fire mages listened close enough they could see that she was screaming and dying and everything hurt and all they could do was nod and hum along.

"I miss it," she would say sometimes. Her voice raspy and quiet and dead and they were almost glad when she stopped singing, if only to remember her sweet, sweet voice before all she did was scream in intervals between beats. "I miss jobs, and bills, and you three breaking into my house, and _Happy_ \- " She choked, her russet eyes tired and nostalgic, "I miss Happy."

Gray would twine his fingers around hers and Natsu would wrap his arm around her waist and whisper empty promises and old ideals and then they would remember the days when everything wasn't so fucked up.

The closer they got to the palace, the more terrified the duo felt for their blonde friend. The dragons were coming - they were everywhere. They fought tooth and nail and would for as long as they could as long as the monsters didn't touch _her_. She had to survive; the plan was poor, but it was all they had. She would be their savior, she would not die. They would not allow it.

The two didn't speak of the impending destination - and sense of _doom_ \- because it made her happy. Her tawny eyes grew wider and lighter and _happier_ , her keys hummed in excitement, and she glowed - the cool headed man and his head strong rival could faintly even make out the Neapolitan yellow encircling her, _livening_ her, almost the exact same shade as her now limp, blonde hair.

"We're almost there," she breathed. "We're going to live."

They didn't.

 _{Theirs was a forgotten story, lost in the depths of time. The story of despair and hope, the story of loss and everlasting friendship and companionship. They would live on in the memories lost to the bleak oblivion, wishing that someone knew their tale, in hopes that they would never lose as much as they unfortunately had.}_

* * *

 **When you're aiming for angst but _oh well_.**

 **This was supposed to be the story of how Gray died in the 10,000 dragon future but I like how this turned out anyways.**


	2. and so the ice melts

**I'm sad that lots of people overlooked this one fic of mine. I'm rather proud of it.**

* * *

They were on the outskirts of Crocus when it happened.

The castle was in view - the once gorgeous towers crumbling and demolished, the grand archways and gates worn and cracked. The chaoticsky was tinting the silver walls a malicious red. The stained windows were shattered and broken, and fire licked  
at the formerly verdant and lush gardens.

The dragons - the _monsters_ \- didn't come gradually, they came suddenly. They suffocated the trio in their fire and scales. Maybe, once upon a time, Natsu would've grinned and fought, absolutely certain of who would come out victorious. Once upon  
a time, Gray would've challenged him to see who could slay more. Once upon a time, Lucy would have smiled and rolled her eyes at their antics.

That wasn't possible now.

Lucy was the first to notice them, crying out in shock when the blast of molten heat cut her right hand - _no, not that one! please_ \- off, perfectly en pointe, like a hot blade. The wound had somehow been immediately cauterized, but the scent of burning  
flesh reached Natsu's nose anyway. He growled, facing the dragon - Motherglare, he recognized her as - with dilated pupils and a furious rage to vent.

Gray frowned, wrapping his hands around the collar of the dragon slayer and yanking him down. The message was clear, but they couldn't stop him fast enough: _I'm tired._

He crossed his arms, bending his legs in a stance the three of them all knew well. Motherglare was a recurring nuisance, and he'd take care of her for good, and gain something else in the process.

Dual cries of "NO!" fell on deaf ears as he concentrated, he would get this right. He had to. It was the only way. Natsu yanked him back in a similar manner to what he had done moments earlier.

"You're gonna take the coward's way out?" Natsu's onyx eyes had never been so serious, his expression never so grim. Seven years ago, the ice make mage probably never would have imagined that the dragon slayer could look so battle-torn, so exhausted,  
and so vulnerable. It took a single word for all of those emotions to flow freely, then mend, and _disappear_.

"I'm done playing the hero."

He looked at Lucy one last time, and she saw it all. She had always been more perceptive than the dense moron standing beside him in that way. She saw his pain, she saw his forgiveness, she saw his want, she saw his bitterness, and she saw his apologies.

 _Ur…_

 __

 _Ultear…_

 __

 _Lyon…_

 __

 _Natsu…_

 __

 _Lucy…_

 __

 _Juvia._

"Ice Make: Iced Shell!" 


End file.
